To my co-irker

To my co-irker who has been sent along with me this week to dog forbid learn something...

I realise what we're doing is new; I have precisely the same experience in it as you.
Yes, it's a little daunting to be doing something you're not trained in.
I agree completely that we might get part of it wrong.  I think that's inevitable.  I'm not stressing over it.
No, I don't have the answer to that either.  You know as much as I do about it.  Rephrasing the question will not change this.
Please stop asking me to validate every single thing you do.  Here's $5, go downstairs and buy yourself a spine.

In short, if you don't stop acting like a codependant symbiote I will cheerfully choke your worthless life out of you, if only for the stress relief.  I just wanted you to know that.  And I will hide the body in the lab afterwards, I reckon it will last for at least a week in the air con before I need to find an alternative.  And that just be the trigger for buying that cordless reciprocating sabre saw I'd like.

Now, did you have another question for me or were you thinking about growing a pair of balls and acting like you've got more maturity than an insecure teenager?

PS - Oh yes; if you tell me once more that my list of alarm events is wrong, and you make me interrupt what I'm doing to point out you have misread "self" as "system" or something similarly utterly different, I will stab you in the eye with a pen.  It will hurt.  I will also use your pen so I don't get gooey bits on mine.