Tuesday, June 28, 2016

So apparently my attitude sucks

So apparently my attitude sucks, but I know that already.

Scored a complaint at work today about my attitude.  Surprised it took so long, really.

Whiny Clueless Manager: I've received a complaint from my staff about your attitude.

(Note - this isn't my manager, it's the manager of the Whiny Clueless Staff.  Why the hell she's even approaching me directly I don't know.)

Me: Really?  Over what exactly?

WCM: You're apparently being deliberately unavailable to support them when they need it, and you're supposed to be in a knowledge transfer and escalations position.

Me: Right, I know who you're talking about.  You should have said "Peabrain has been whining", it would have been quicker.  This is the person who e-mailed me earlier today and asked me for 2 hours of my time to explain something they should damn well already know, and I responded politely that I was willing to help, just book some time in my calendar.  Their response was to book a 2 hour timeslot, in between two other back to back meetings I already had.

WCM: Yes, is that a problem?  We're all busy.

Me: It is when I work in a building 20 minutes travel from the one they work in.  I don't even mind going for the walk on the grounds that it's easier to move me than 6 of them, and getting into my building is a pain in the arse because of the security requirements, but I don't have a teleporter to get there.  Or back to meet my preexisting following commitment, for that matter.  And I'll bet whatever you like that their meeting won't finish early.

WCM: Can't you do it via video conference?

Me: Probably, and I told them that.  Their response was to book a video conference capable room in a third building again, which is about 15 minutes travel in the opposite direction.  Same problem, no teleporter.

WCM: Ah.  But now they say you're delaying until next week?

Me: Depends on what you mean by "delay".  The timeslot they took was the sole remaining time I have for the rest of the week, because I'm in Sydney for a meeting all day tomorrow, and I'm smashed from start until finish for the rest of the week because some of the rest of the team are on a training course and one person is personal leave, so the rest of use have damn near a double workload.

I can't help it if other people who organise their time better got to me first, and I make no apology for being busy.  Don't even think of asking me to move another meeting, it's not going to happen.  If I do that for one person I have to do it for everyone, and everyone thinks they're the most important person in the place.  Most of them are wrong.

WCM: They say you can't be available until Wednesday next week now.

Me: Hang on, I'll forward you the e-mail where I advised my availability.  It says I'm available every single morning next week, that Wednesdays are not ideal, but I can miss the meeting I have for that day if there is nothing else that suits everyone.  That's pretty much the diametrical opposite of what they said.

WCM: Ah.

Me: So, to summarise, I've been helpful, accurate and accommodating within my ability to do so around other commitments.  They've been needy, untimely, disorganised, inaccurate, untruthful and need their jobs explained to them.

As such, my response to their complaint is "go fuck yourself sideways", and I'll be expecting an apology before I hear a further request for support from them.  Further discussion should be directed to my manager, and I assure you that that will be the second time he hears about it, because I'm going over to tell him what's actually going on as soon as I get off this call with you.

WCM: Ah.  Er... righto.  See your point, I'll pass that back to them.

Me: Excellent.  Tell them not to let the doorknob get them in the arse on the way out.

Certain aspects of this post may have been subject to some slight literary licence in the name of illustratory humour, but I assure you that every point in the conversation took place as described.

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