Friday, March 4, 2011

Your cretin of the morning

Why is it so hard for McDonalds cafe staff to comprehend the concept of black coffee?
The pattern is always the same.
- Order black coffee
- Cretin makes white coffee
- I point out that I asked for black coffee
- Cretin stares at me blindly for a few seconds while the sole neuron working tries to process this
- It finally dawns that a new coffee will need to be made
I realise I’m dealing with someone who, by default, is not the brightest crayon in the box here.  But what I love is the dopey look I get when I say they’re wrong and they can’t figure out why.  You can almost see the thought process going on, albeit very, very slowly.  Did the customer order the wrong thing?  Did I mishear?  Did I ring up the wrong item?  Did I make the wrong item?
While these virtual gears are grinding, I’ve got a four-letter stare going on to firmly communicate what I am thinking, which is that I have been ordering black coffee for the past twenty-five years, and I didn’t bloody well do it any differently this time to any time previously, so maybe you should just make me the right fucking coffee??
On an unrelated note, I see that OfficeWorks are now flogging wireless networked black and white laser printers for $98.  GTFO.  Only twelve months ago, anything wireless was $300, and anything laser was about $400.  At $98, it’s close to the point where you toss the printer once the toner is used up.

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