Friday, June 3, 2011

Marketing department terms

Different terms used by marketing departments:


NEW – Different colour from previous model.


ALL NEW – Parts are not interchangeable with previous model.


EXCLUSIVE – Imported.


UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition's product.


FOOLPROOF OPERATION – Can't be adjusted.


ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t understand what it does.


IT’S HERE AT LAST – Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.


FIELD TESTED – Manufacturer lacks test equipment.


HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit.


FUTURISTIC – We can't think of any other reason why it looks the way it does.


REDESIGNED – Previous flaws fixed – we hope.


DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory currently suing distributor.


YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one to work.


BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a use for it.


MAINTENANCE FREE – Sealed unit, impossible to fix.


MEETS ALL STANDARDS – Ours, not yours.


SOLID-STATE – Heavy as all hell.


LESS FATTENING – Now features slightly lower fat content than pig stomach lining.


HIGH RELIABILITY – We got one to work long enough to ship it.


NON-REFUNDABLE – We couldn't get one to work long enough to ship it.


FAT FREE – You pay for the food, but the fat itself is free.


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