Monday, April 11, 2011

Disconnecting VoIP

Decided to disconnect the VoIP service last week, we just don’t use it any more.


Go online to their website, nope – you can’t do it from there, although you can *connect* a service.  Why?  Because they don’t want you to get away that easily.


Call their service centre.  Nope, that closed 6 minutes ago and is only available during business hours.


Call this morning.  There are IVR options for sales, billing and support.  Choose billing, wait in the queue, only to be told they need to transfer me to disconnections.  Why no option?  Because people might pick it.


Wait in the queue for disconnections, finally answered via the crappiest VoIP call you have ever heard to what I suspect was the Philippines.



Call centre droid:  This Ook, what you want?


Me:  Me want disconnect account.  You make account go away.


Droid:  Why?


Me:  Because use mobiles, no further need.


Droid:  You customer since 2007, how about 6 months free service?


Me:  How about droid listen to customer?  I just said I’m not using the service, it make zero difference whether it free or not.  Make go away now.


Droid:  You sure not keep?  Maybe transfer to other family member or friend?


Me:  WTF??  Disconnect the fucking service NOW, or I take a record of the time and date of the call, your name and operator number, I lodge a complaint with the company, and I instruct my bank to withdraw your payment privilege.  I’ll also take a recording of my telling you this, and further attempts to bill me for services I have requested be discontinued will be reported to the police as attempted fraud.


Droid:  *grunt*  *snort*  OK, Ook disconnect account.



I swear that there must be some sort of training that customer save staff go through, very similar to salespeople, telemarketers, car salesmen, real estate agents and doorknockers.  That training includes brainwashing so the word “no” just doesn’t even register on their consciousness, along with the ability to completely ignore what the customer wants in favour of their own agenda.  And then these people probably wonder why they are regarded as somewhere between a slime mould and something you wish you hadn’t just found on the sole of your shoe from a respectability point of view.

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