Saturday, October 2, 2010

Redneck weddings - epilogue

Well the wedding was interesting if nothing else.

The bridegroom got a little annoyed with his brother (a groom) a couple of nights before and smashed him over the head with a brick, resulting in a 6cm scalp laceration and a hasty replacement of groomsman.

It was also reported the groom had at one stage on the day before called the bride a skank and locked her out in the resort hallway naked.  This is, fortunately, anecdotal evidence only.

The do itself just about got rained out because the moronic function coordination the resort had was running half an hour late on the day, had she had her shit together it would have fitted in nicely between cloudbursts.  You've never seen six bridesmaids, six groomsmen, a bride, a groom, a mini-bridesmaid, two flower girls and a ring boy mount a set of golf carts so fast.  The look on the face of the photographer was about as black as the culprit thunderhead, she had about $40k of DSLR kit out in it.

But the absolute crowning acheivement of the function was one of the grooms (long term root of one of the bridesmaids) having a tiff with her at the reception, deciding to drive back to Townsville at about 10pm while pissed, stealing her brand new SS Commodore and pranging it somewhere down the road.  He did the Harold Holt before the wallopers turned up as he would have turned the crystals black, but has absolutely no idea where the crashed car is - only that it's "about $50 by cab" from the resort.  He's now (probably quite sensibly) done a runner and can't be located, leaving the increasingly incandescant bridesmaid down a vehicle, with no idea where it is other than apparently being colocated with 2 large palm trees, and probably in a ditch.  She's supposed to be back at work in Townsville on Monday morning.  Cops have still not noticed an unconventionally parked Commodore anywhere.

Definitely brightened the whole week up.  :)

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