Saturday, October 18, 2014

Actual conversation from this morning

Waiting in line at Australia Post to collect a couple of parcels...

Australia Post Droid: Wow, you're lucky this one didn't get sent back, it's been waiting so long.

Me: I beg your pardon??  It's been here 5 days, and it's very much you who are lucky it hasn't been.

APD: (rather taken aback) What do you mean?

Me: I mean that it took your "organisation" 5 days to shift a parcel the size of a deck of cards from Gosford to Melbourne for starters.  Your postie then tried to deliver it at 2:45 on a Monday afternoon, while I was perhaps unsurprisingly at work.  Your "organisation" then only opens business hours, while everyone is, again, at work.  Because obviously it's out of the question that you should stay open for late night trading on a Thursday like everyone else in the entire shopping centre is obligated to do by then tenancy agreement, whether they like it or not, or whether it costs them money to do so.  So a Saturday morning is, in fact, the first time I could possibly collect my mail, and so yes, I expect you to hold it for me for that long, and as such, I'm very much not the one who is lucky it hasn't been sent back.

APD:  Um... have you considered our parcel locker service?

Me:  Indeed I have.  Has your organisation considered actually building one here?  Of course not.  The nearest one is conveniently about 10km away, and in any case, would my second parcel be deliverable to there?  Considering it was shipped from an international location and had to be signed for?

APD:  Um... no, I suppose not.

Me:  Good, so to summarise - we've established that your "organisation"'s performance is poor, that your responsiveness to your customer's needs is lousy, that you don't offer a usable or realistic alternative, and that I, as the customer, aren't being held accountable for those shortcomings, yes?

APD:  Um...

Me:  Excellent.  Unfortunately, I'll see you next time.

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