Put me in charge

Put me in charge of Australia's handout welfare system.  I’d get rid of cash payments for starters, and replace them with a debit card system that only allows you to buy certain items.  It would allow you to buy fresh meat, vegetables, milk, bread, salads etc.  Buying E91 or ethanol fuel would be OK, premium will not be.  And you won't own a car that needs it – trust me.  It would not allow you to buy frozen pizza, KFC, chips, chocolate, tobacco or alcohol.  If you want to buy those, then get a job and pay for them yourself.

 

Put me in charge of Medicare. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations.  I'd test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine - if you are found with these in your system, your payments are suspended.  I'd document all tattoos and piercings, if you are found with more than you had last time you've obviously got more of our cash than you need.  If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tattoos and piercings, then get a job and pay for it out of your own pocket.

 

Put me in charge of subsidised housing. Ever live in a military barracks?  You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair.  "Your" (read: our) house will be subject to inspections anytime, and possessions will be inventoried.  If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place on your own dollar.  Are you seeing a pattern yet?

 

Don't even think about letting drugs or alcohol be found in your subsidised housing.  If so, you're cut off for a year.  If found a second time, you're cut off for two years.  After that, I lose my normally cheerful disposition and it really starts to hurt.

 

You will either present a payslip from a job every time you want to collect a welfare handout or you will report to a government job. It may be cleaning the roads and parks of rubbish, painting and repairing public housing, but trust me - we'll find something.  I will also sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tyres and your car stereo system and put that money toward the welfare of someone who actually needs it.

 

Before you think that I’m violating your "rights", realize that all of the above is voluntary!  It's just that if you want our money, accept our rules.  Before you say that this is "demeaning" and lowers your "self esteem", consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was considered demeaning and lowered self esteem.

 

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices and just perpetuates the cycle of welfare entitlement.

 

Oh yeah, one last thing - while receiving a handout you no longer can vote.  Voting is a privilege reserved for people who contribute to society and therefore earn a say in how it is structured, governed and run.  If you want to vote, then get a job.