Helpdesk is a tough gig

I like this bloke. Put him in charge.

Laptop fun

Just found out why Mum’s laptop didn’t want to work too well after a transformer failed at her apartment block last week.

 

The 19VDC power brick just put a 450V multimeter into overlimit alarm.

 

Remarkably enough the lappie itself seems to have survived fine.

Acheivement unlocked

Well, I have successfully unlocked a new achievement for my character – I bought clothes for a female and she liked them.

 

I think this means I have leveled?

Genius

Glad to see that Queensland politicans are as cloth-headed as ever.

This little piece of genius has, in effect, just told every idiot on the road what they need to do to get away without being chased.

Nice one, Neil.

This is pretty good :)

Aw, shit. :(

For some reason, the PSU in the file server just decided that this was the time, and hung up its jock.

 

Dammit, at least I have tomorrow off to buy a new one.

 

It looks like it was barbecued due to cooling fan failure, I could kludge a new fan in there, but for $40 I don’t think it’s worth resurrecting a PSU that’s been far enough outside thermal tolerance to force a hard shutdown.

I think the last chick takes it very well, all things considered.

Oh the humanity

Have a look at this poor bastard who has been denied access to the home heating assistance she so desperately needs.

You know, so she can sit on her arse and watch the large flatscreen TV, digital tuner and Xbox in the background in comfort.

Boom! HEADSHOT!!!!

Visual eyesores of the web

Clutter central.

Mr Clutter's green clutter.

I wonder if there's a word for what's wrong with this bloke.

I really wouldn't recommend reading the hilarous-text install bar at the top of this one (first time I've seen that), but the site itself is worth seeing.  Once.

Oops

Just gave a work colleague a Jila mint.

 

He said thanks, popped it into his mouth and bit down.

 

Poor bastard may be able to speak again in an hour or two if he’s lucky.

 

shastie will get a giggle out of this...

I seem to remember a significant amount of time being spent identifying this particular prick by ourselves and other interested individuals....

In the blue corner...

...we have a 77 year old retired hunting enthusiast, and in the red corner we have the five teen scumbags trying to rob his house. Gentlemen, place your bets.

And about time too

Ye gads should I applaud the US for anything, but this is a damn good idea.

Now here's a good social engineering phish

Just got this in my e-mail:

INTRODUCING UPGRADED ADOBE ACROBAT 2011

Dear Customers,

Adobe is pleased to announce new version upgrades for Adobe Acrobat 2011. http://www.2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org

Advanced features include:

- Collaborate across borders
- Create rich, polished PDF files from any application that prints
- Ensure visual fidelity
- Encrypt and share PDF files more securely
- Use the standard for document archival and exchange

To upgrade and enhance your work productivity today, go to:http://www.2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org

To leave comments, please contact us at: comments@2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org

Best regards,

Tom Norman
 
Adobe Acrobat Reader
Copy rights © Adobe Acrobat 2011 - All Rights Reserved
Website: http://www.2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org

Looks good, doesn't it?

Now, let's think a little critically.

I would expect contact from Adobe to come from adobe.com, not 2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org.  And how did they get my direct e-mail when to my knowledge to you never have to register to use Acrobat Reader?

A DNS lookup on 2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org shows:

Domain ID:D160899709-LROR
Domain Name:2011-ADOBE-PDF-READER.ORG
Created On:11-Dec-2010 08:34:29 UTC
Last Updated On:11-Dec-2010 08:34:39 UTC
Expiration Date:11-Dec-2011 08:34:29 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:Regional Network Information Center, JSC dba RU-CENTER (R148-LROR)
Status:CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED
Status:TRANSFER PROHIBITED
Status:ADDPERIOD
Registrant ID:JQ3S5X0-RU
Registrant Name:Zeus Marketing Service
Registrant Organization:Zeus Marketing Service
Registrant Street1:MTC Media Unit GF 6B,Brown Street
Registrant Street2:
Registrant Street3:
Registrant City:Dundee
Registrant State/Province:
Registrant Postal Code:DD1 5EG
Registrant Country:GB
Registrant Phone:+44.1382206023
Registrant Phone Ext.:
Registrant FAX:
Registrant FAX Ext.:
Registrant Email:domain@adobe.com

 

Hmm, Zeus Marketing Service?  In Dundee, Great Britain?  Smells very fishy.  Interesting registrant e-mail, but you can enter anything there.

Let's go to the website and have a look.  You can do this safely.

http://www.2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org

Not bad, although the graphics are not quite Adobe corporate.  What's that you say?  Yes, the domain has changed - 2011-adobe-pdf-reader.org has redirected to new-2011-pdf-download.com !  Gee, all reference to both Adobe and Acrobat gone.  Let's have a little DNS lookup, shall we?

Domain name:             NEW-2011-PDF-DOWNLOAD.COM
Name Server:             ns10.dnsmadeeasy.com
Name Server:             ns11.dnsmadeeasy.com
Creation Date:           2010.11.23
Expiration Date:         2011.11.23

Status:                  DELEGATED

Registrant ID:           G2GSV3U-RU
Registrant Name:         Consesores De Importadores De Machina Independente
Registrant Organization: Consesores De Importadores De Machina Independente
Registrant Street1:      suite 310
Registrant City:         Panama City
Registrant Postal Code:  n/a
Registrant Country:      PA

Administrative, Technical Contact
Contact ID:              G2GSV3U-RU
Contact Name:            Consesores De Importadores De Machina Independente
Contact Organization:    Consesores De Importadores De Machina Independente
Contact Street1:         suite 310
Contact City:            Panama City
Contact Postal Code:     n/a
Contact Country:         PA
Contact Phone:           +1 507 5523371
Contact E-mail:          markpetersemail@gmail.com

Ah, now that's more like what we expected to find.  International wog-language registrant out of Panama with a fly-by-night $20 a year domain host and a throwaway gmail address.

Anybody wanna download it and see what it does?  I'll be patient waiting for the reply, you may need to reformat afterwards.  ;-)

English student riots

So I understand the scruffy student body of England is a little miffed at the coming rise in student fees.

I can understand that, but that doesn't give you the right to act like a mob of thugs and generally terrorise the place as your own method of throwing a tanty.  Apparently the chase car officers in that scenario were armed, and no doubt there would have been cries of police brutality if they had capped a round off into a few of the yobs.  I'd be cheering.

Then the liberal media runs crap like this (and actually I think it's a remarkably balanced article for a middle market tabloid).

'The police were getting very violent at that point. Where I tried to get out they were charging with horses. We had to run back.'

Gee, my dear - do you think that might have something to do with them being under attack by yobs throwing missiles and setting fire to things?

'Alfie is not a violent person. He wouldn't have done anything silly. He's not the sort of person who would have been carrying weapons. He's very political, engaged and passionate, but he's not a violent person at all.'

No, he's not violent at all.  He's a good boy, such a nice boy.  He must have been an unwilling participant in the street riot, eh?

About the only redeeming story I have head come out of this whole disaster is this one.

'I was just trying to get across to them that the cause that we're here for today isn't about 'I hate the police, I want to burn the police and I want to destory [sic] everything they represent.  It's about university fees and its about how education should not be a business.' She expressed concern that some non-students were using the protest for thier [sic] own purposes. 'There's a lot of people doing this to supoprt [sic] the cause but others are here to have a day off school, and burn stuff, and be rebellious as a pose (rather than) actually add anything to our cause.'

Apart from the THREE spelling errors (coming back to that shortly) this demonstrates precisely why this sort of crap should be met with tear gas, rubber bullets and truncheon charges.  There's not enough respect left in society for authority, but the gen-Yers who are out there protesting against authority will be the first to have their hands out for a publicly funded handout.  As for the hangers-on who think it's just cool, maybe a biff in the back of the ear, a night in the cells and a $500 fine for providing the biff and accommodation would improve their attitude towards formenting public disorder next time.

Now, back to the spelling errors, and also why I tend to have very little sympathy for the 'students' in the first place.  Higher education in the world is increasing becoming a joke.  The number of people walking around the place who are unable to do basic maths, spell, construct a legible sentence, and generally communicate in an effective manner really is beginning to plumb the depths of the absurd.

When you've got one in four trainee teachers unable to pass basic literacy and numeracy tests, the thickest and most trenchant advocate of "education for all" must have to admit there is something badly, badly wrong.

By the way, Zoe Williams (the student from the second last link above) is wrong about education not being a business.  It is.  Education costs money, my dear, and someone has to pay for it.  I'll grant that if you meet certain standards of accomplishment and demonstrable educational attainment then society should assist and subsidise tertiary education as a means of ensuring the propagation of advanced knowledge.  However, that's not a free-for-all licence for every scruffy long-hair who wants to do a vanity degree, or hasn't done anything to earn the placement, or wants to 'go to uni' as a way of deferring the need to get off your arse and do some work for another three year to sponge off the taxpaying public.

If you want to be a full fee-paying student and fund your own studies, go right ahead.  I applaud your desire for self-betterment.  Quite apart from the fact that the public isn't paying for it, the fact that you're willing to do so demonstrates that you actually have some sort of commitment to the idea.

But while it's now the norm to go through tertiary education, I can't help but feel that the whole concept is degraded to the point where it means nothing any more.  Secondary education is increasingly viewed as a joke, because 'everybody' goes to uni, so why bother, and 'everybody' gets a place in the nanny state where you don't have to meet any sort of entrance standards, or indeed pay for it.

So in terms of jacking the fees up, I say go for it.  If we can't do anything about entrance standards then this will at least give serious pause to the dilettantes and time wasters who will still be unemployable, liberal arts degree or not, and maybe, just maybe, they might have to get off their arses and GET A JOB.

In the nanny state, nobody sweeps floors, waits on tables, cleans dishes or drives a truck.  We're all financiers, surgeons, stock brokers and rocket scientists - or at least the idealistic would like to believe.  Sorry guys, chances are you're the liberal arts major I referred to earlier.  Disillusionment awaits.

So, my rioting malcontents; the police are lining up again for another baton charge, the bad news is that I'm not going to be funding your degree in philosophy next year (or the student union lesbian whale protection society either), and your choices are a cudgel to the head or put your tail between your legs, go home, and start applying for a job in line with your nonexistent skills and abilities tomorrow.

I'm good either way.

Best e-mail out of office reply ever

I am on holidays until [date].  During this time I will allow each sender one e-mail.  If you send me multiple emails, I will randomly delete your e-mails until it is pared down to one.

 

Choose wisely.  Please note that you have already sent me one e-mail.

Words officially fail me

I am absolutely gobsmacked by this.

It's bad enough when you've got some mushmouth speaking slurring gomer who can't understand basic concepts, but to entrust medical reporting to them....  just wow.

This is gonna hurt if he finds a tree.

Stupid tech support comment of the day

Customer says they can’t possibly have used that much data – they only view pictures, not download them.

 

/me checks DNS logs for tubgirl….

 

 

One more sleep

The big day is nearly here, one more sleep until I resign.

 

*please please please*  Oh please ask me to leave immediately…. I could just do with a free 4 week holiday  :)

Ran across this in my file archive

Stormtroopers Team Brief 24/8/06.

 

 

Meeting commenced sometime, a few minutes late.

 

A few people turned up, a few people couldn't be bothered.  One was later found hiding in the toilets, several are still missing.

 

 

HS&E

• The usual crap.   Blah blah operational plan blah blah, same manual task card for the 3,487th time, etc.
• All team members reminded that while the building can be cold on nights and weekends, setting fire to sales staff to keep warm is NOT acceptable business practice as it knocks the carpetting around badly.

 

Minutes from the previous meeting

• no one can remember being awake, let alone anything that was discussed.

 

EEO

• Discussion cut short by one of the team leaving to file a harassment complaint against another one.  Further team development required.

 

Attendance

• All team members were reminded that they are all expected to show up occasionally.
• If you're going to have a nice chat with a colleague, make it look businesslike - take a big folder, a handful of paper with numbers scribbled on it, a few MOLDS printouts (old ones will do), and make you sure pull a chair up to the desk.  Under no circumstances look like you are enjoying it, and you’re good for hours.
• New competition announced for the stupidest excuse for the week for not showing up without actually getting fired for it.  Scott currently in the lead for his excuse of "the voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my guns."

 

Performance

• Performance and queue numbers are much improved since the new practice was adopted of just closing cases without fixing anything, based on the highly successful field staff model.
• All staff were reminded that fixing the customer's fault is entirely secondary to taking the opportunity to flog them something in Opportunity Knocks.

 

SME reports

• All SMEs reported either 'nothing new', or delivered a highly technical, jargon filled report that no-one could understand and bored the pants off those people not part of the workstream.
• People who had the temerity to ask questions were shot down using more jargon, delivered in a sarcastic prima donna tone of voice.

 

General business

• Same reminders about e-mail and dBabble usage for business purposes that no-one pays any attention to.
• New printers have been installed and are ready for use.  Yes, they are irritating to use - they were designed that way to cut down on paper usage.
• Several new nonsensical and poorly though out processes announced.  These were promptly shredded by the team and all the weaknesses pointed out.  Team Leader pointed out that they are now part of your KPIs whether you like them or not, or indeed whether they make actually work or not.
• Assorted complaints from the usual whingers in the team, which were ignored as usual.
• Some random and poorly though out rant from an inarticulate team member who can't express themselves properly is shot down in flames by the rest of the team, and the team member made to feel stupid.

 

There being nobody left who gave a damn, sleeping team members were awakened and the meeting closed late.

 

 

Woops

Here is a nice picture of my archery club, taken from about 3' inside the front door. Notice anything unusual at all?

No?

Here's what happens when you try to hit the far butts from inside the clubhouse, taking account of the guesstimated fall of shot.

Yes, the archer is copping shit from every other member of the club.  No, he's not allowed to have the arrow back.

launching in 3... 2... 1...